This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the day after is always just damage control
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
