take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
