I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
