i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
