all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
