Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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