her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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