love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
