I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
