Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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