I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
