Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
