Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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