My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
