Kiss
Puke
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
