There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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