We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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