why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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