Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
