My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sext me about skeletons
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
