y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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