I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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