do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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