If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
