I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
