sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
