Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
