as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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