Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
