just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
