you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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