Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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