the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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