You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
