i was born a porn star she said
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
