You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
