God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
