I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
