At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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