I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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