I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
