spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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