I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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