I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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