all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
