Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
