We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
