One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
