My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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