Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
