i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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