Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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