i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
